Near the beginning of time, on the 8th day after the creation of the universe, a band of unlikely heroes emerged to protect and save the earth from destruction with the power of the almighty Kazoo. With this power they cleansed the earth using the celestial melodies billowing forth from the ancient musical weapon. With the Earth saved and their work seemingly finished, our heroes sealed themselves away in magical ice, frozen in time to return when the world needed saving once again.
The time for glory soon came thousands of years later as global warming thawed the heroes from their icy prisons. They saw a land desecrated by evil and a supreme lack of creativity. Unfortunately the ancient Kazoo had been stolen from the ice many years before by raiders and scavengers who traded or sold it to those who knew not of its sacred power. History became legend. Legend became myth. Soon the Kazoo passed out of all knowledge. The fate of the great Kazoo was not their only misfortune, for many of the original companions met their doom at the hands of battle, drifted across the ocean while frozen, or simply went their separate ways. Despite the great loss, onward they fought to free the world in captivity, rebranding themselves to the current times as America's greatest superhero protectors.
Eventually a mysterious virus swept over the land and the heroes locked themselves away deep underground. Digging endlessly within the Earth they discovered a vast wealth of Americonium, the world's strongest and most durable of metals. With chaos engulfing the land above, the heroes labored tirelessly day and night to upgrade their equipment and craft an arsenal of new material.
After their triumphant return to the surface, more powerful than ever before, the band reunited with some of the other great warriors of the past who thawed and found their way home. With a celestial energy radiating from the upgraded weapons, armor, and newly forged kazoos, the heroes resumed their ancient quest to protect the earth from all evil lurking in the shadows.